The Monkey Corner Sessions

by Truth in Advertising

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In June of 1999 the trio converged upon Gamut Studios in Latrobe PA, where a bald man with a ponytail recorded their four-song EP The Monkey Corner Sessions. The boys weren't quite satisfied with the end result, but being short of funds for extra mixing time, they took what they had and promptly did absolutely nothing for quite some time.

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released June 2, 1999

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Truth in Advertising Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

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Track Name: Dead End Road
A driving force, a burning determination
Awaiting that day, a wondrous sensation
In no way will I be just a common man.
There’ll come a time, the world will know who I am.

Pathetic losers, those who mow lawns and pump gas.
I will be better, in adoration’s glow I will bask.
To not be known is a life unfulfilled.
All these dollar-slaving fools should have themselves killed.
Oh how dear God, did this go so wrong?
I had it all on my way to fame.

But here I stand as it crumbles before me.
On the dead end road of unrelenting shame.
The goal in view, a tortuous slight taste.
Not meant to be, my unabiding fate.
Now here I dwell, in my confined one room.
Jaded and corrupt, living my own vile doom

Out of luck, for hope I no longer pray.
In a tangled heap, a strung out body lays.
Drugs called my name, I tried them all.
Still no relief from the pain of my fall.
Oh please, cannot live this way.
It stares at me and laughs, this dark, cold city.

Why oh why can I not escape?
From this dead end road of undesired pity.
Oh God, cannot take it anymore.
Must make my way through that one final door.
They scream in fear, yet I continue all the same.
Maybe now, they’ll all know my name.

Hopelessness, nothing left to do.
Finally done what I set out to prove.
Guess this’ll be my final life story.
All this time, my path to glory.
No more despair will my poor soul be fed.
Better late than never, I put the gun to my head.

Limited options, this is what I chose.
My dead end road journey has finally come to a close.
Track Name: The Nonsensical Nonsequitous Blues
I got me this woman,
she won’t leave me alone.
Every night, she be calling me on the phone.
She wants to have sex,
but I say she’s my ex.
And I ain’t got no use for no gunrack.

Then I knows this other lady.
Goes by the name of Terry.
One night, we was gonna gets it on.
She says, “Let’s go do it on the lawn.”
Then the sprinklers came on,
and this unicorn stabbed her right through the back.

Once upon a time, I knew me this girl.
She wanted to be on TV
more than anything else in the world.
One day she got her wish,
as she was eating some fish.

And a giant alien came down and bit off her head.
Once me and my woman,
we was out fishing.
The lake was bright blue.
And I was wishing, that I was anywhere else
or that my woman was Welsh.
And then Garfield drove up in the Mystery Machine and said,
“Hey, this is like that movie with Whoopie Goldberg.”

One day I was outside,
and I decided to mow the lawn.
But suddenly I stopped in the middle of a row,
cause I saw my dog and my sister gettin’ it on.
They stopped their messed up lovin’, when they saw me coming.
And said, “Nothing says lovin’ like chicken from the oven.”

Then one day, i was driving down the road.
I was humming this here song,
and I ran over a toad.
I couldn’t believe that the toad was naked,
so I closed my eyes and thought about it for a second.
Then I almost crashed cause
Robert De Niro and Star Jones were playing hackeysack in the middle of the road.
Track Name: Paranoid Ballad
I know they’re after me.
I feel it in the air.
But I can’t let them capture me,
or take me unaware.
I feel them coming for me now.
I feel it in my bones.
These men, they know what I have seen
and seen what I have shown.

Hiding, in the night.
Hiding, from the light.
They cannot take me now.

I hear them calling me,
like thunder on the waves.
That drive the oceans and the seas
and hear them ride this way.
I see them coming for me like
an army up a hill.
They think that they have cornered me,
but I’ll outsmart them still.

Hiding, in the night.
Hiding, from the light.
They cannot take me now.

I know that they’re almost here.
They’re almost at the door.
But I must never show my fear,
and I must run no more.
Now the time has come for me
to make my great escape.
And I must follow my destiny
and travel far away.

Running, in the night.
Running, from the light.
They cannot take me now.